100 Things: Entry Two

I woke up yesterday morning and turned over my phone to see that it was 6 am. I was up an hour before my alarm was set to go off.

So I jumped out of bed and decided to walk to work.

Up Pennsylvania Avenue, past the Capitol Building and onto the National Mall, I strolled — iced tea in hand, music running through my headphone, enjoying the breeze of this unusually pleasant May morning.

As I reached the 12th street intersection, I looked left and was struck by the sun illuminating the Department of Agriculture as it continued to rise over the Smithsonian Castle. In front of me, the Washington Monument stood tall, glowing in the soft morning light. To the right, 12th Street stretched on — the traditional limestone facades mixing with the modern glass buildings.

At that moment, my heart spilled over with joy. A smile broke across my face, and I wanted to dance.

It’s almost been a year since I moved to DC. It’s nearly been a year since I felt so isolated and stressed that I couldn’t eat.

So much has happened; so much has changed.

This year has given me much to think about. It’s challenged my trust, made me doubt, and caused me frustration.

It’s also brought me cherished community, hundreds of adventures, and overwhelming peace. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled more consistently than I have here. I am in love with this city and all it’s brought me, and I am regularly awestruck by all the blessings I’ve received while here, especially relationally.

This brings me to the second thing I know about myself:

I am always where I need to be, even if I don’t believe it at the moment. 

I do not always remember it in the difficult moments or the unexplainable ones. When I’m anxious and fearful, I question it. Looking back, however, I can point to each stage of my life and see all I learned and how they prepared me for my current situation. I also repeatedly see how the moments I thought were the hardest have helped me learn the most critical lessons. 

I have no idea where I am going. I barely know what I’ll be doing next weekend.

Thankfully, I know every day is preparing me for my next steps, my next journey, my next leap of faith — so I don’t have to worry about where I’m going. If I stay true to myself, listen to the whispers of the Lord, and keep moving forward, I’ll continue to end up exactly where I need to be.

ICYMI: I’m starting a series on 100 Things I know about myself. Read the background of the project here and the first entry here!