100 Things: Entry One

Tonight I got off the metro like I would any other night, walked up the escalator, crossed the street, and walked halfway down the block to my home.

Tonight I also somehow lost my phone during that three-minute walk only to have it then swiped by a stranger who answered my frantic calls but only replied in broken mumblings and taunts as I desperately pleaded for my phone’s safe return.

To make matters worse, this was my work phone. Now I didn’t just feel like an idiot; I felt like I had failed at my job. I felt like a horrible employee and like I had let my bosses and my teammates down — I’m going to feel that way for a while, no matter what anyone says.

After I thoroughly cried it out, I finally came to the realization that I have to, and can, let it go.

This leads me to the first thing I know about myself:

Everything I am, and everything I’m going through, is in a constant state of redemption.

AKA: everything is always being rescued and made new

Which is very different from

Everything is ok

Everything is not ok right now. My anxiety and doubt are running rampant, saying all sorts of things to my mind.

I am not expecting to get my phone back, but I know I will survive the experience. It will be uncomfortable — telling my coworkers I lost my phone, buying a new one, watching it like a hawk until I trust myself again not to lose it. Most importantly, fighting any thoughts that will try to demolish my worth and competency.

Thankfully, God has always been kind enough to pick us back up after life knocks us down.

And for that reason, I am certain that everything will be ok because the redemption process is already underway.

Already, my teammates and boss have been so kind and helpful. My friends and family have kindly listened to my laments and helped me laugh despite it all. My roommate even went out to try and find it after I gave up in the search.

Already, I have taken this moment and decided to reclaim a bit of my peace. Already, I have taken this moment and surrendered it. Already, I have taken this moment and have chosen to rejoice in the goodness of the Lord despite it. 

Things will not magically go back to normal. I’m not getting my phone back, but I will be ok in the end — that is the beauty of redemption and the victory of the cross. 

For a detailed explanation on the 100 Things topic, read this post!