I Ask for Courage

I hate to say this,
because I know it won’t be easy
and that I’ll consistently return to where I was.

But I am so tired of fitting in.

I am tired of going with the flow
of getting caught up in the ebbing tides

I want to be free
I want to swim out to the middle of the waters
and spin through the seas
overjoyed with the freedom to love life
overcome by its beauty.

I am so tired of feeling bad for being smart
for not being symmetrical with the rest.

For understanding
comprehending
and retaining.

I want to celebrate
I want to laugh

I don’t want to complain
when I have nothing to complain about
but need to feel connected.

I don’t want to feel guilty
or hate myself
because I am talented
and because I know I’m talented.

Heroes are not picked out from boxes.
Heroes make their own ways out.

Courage makes a hero
Conformity makes a coward.

And I know,

in the middle of the ocean
sharks wait around bends,
boats troll the surface
warfare roams
and rules are ruthless.

But I’d rather be there
and take my chances in the middle
of the crystal blue

because I do not like
the facade of me
that surfaces when
I’m “safe”

.

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